Wiki Wednesday #168 - Tsuyuri Mochida / 持田つゆり
Tsuyuri is a fifteen-year-old voiced by iizumo when iizumo was thirteen apparently! That's a fun fact about youngins setting the age of their UTAUs. Just jumping straight to "is an eighteen-year-old adult" feels too far off, even if the stories you want to write would logically require your UTAU to be eighteen. Not for inappropriate reasons, just because how would a sixteen-year-old live by herself in a new country without going to school? How does the visa process go with that?
My UTAU was sixteen at first because I was fourteen when I made her. When I turned fifteen, I bumped her age up to seventeen as far as I can remember. Two years is just the right amount of close enough to be relatable, but older enough to feel "grown enough" to move to a new country with no visa and no form of guardianship.
Tsuyuri is overly emotional and love bombs everyone she cares about. Isn't that a bad thing? Not to a kid. There's layers of the human experience that don't sink in during youth - constant cakes and gifts sounds like it could have no ulterior purpose. She's written as this being a good and endearing thing, which I totally get.
She also loves sweaters and baking.
Who is Mochida Tsuyuri?
 |
| offcial art from wiki |
"Supposedly" fictional Chia here.
I don't know what year it is on Earth as I'm writing this. The sapient slime balls don't have a good grasp on time when it comes to their portal technology.
Once, a man vowed to preserve every title on Netflix. This was difficult as it would either require complex hacking or paying for a subscription and streaming all of the data over. He could have waited for the hack to be created. It only took like twenty years after his departure.
However, he had a need to be special. Using his own money, he paid a sapient slime ball to open a portal for him. He had asked every official he could. He appealed to the government. They all thought he was an idiot, so he had to settle for a college student breaking into his university's lab.
He brought a camera with him. I guess in case he couldn't stream the data itself.
There isn't really much of a hilarious Don Quixote story here. The student got the place wrong. The student got the time wrong. Instead of the man breaking into an empty house in America and hoping their computer was logged into Netflix, he was put straight into the middle of a small Italian village in the middle of the Italian Renaissance. He had asked the sapient slime ball to give him a week to do his job, so he just bumbled around the village, yelling in English. He wanted a computer, and he wanted Netflix.
Watching the video footage is either hilarious or embarrassing. The only other Earth language he knew existed was Chinese. I wish the camera was focused on his face and not a typical bodycam. I just imagine how red his face was when he screamed "Stop speaking Chinese!" at literally everyone who he accosted.
Thankfully, the story isn't a harrowing tale of the butterfly effect. The portal technology in the university lab only dealt with simulations. Even if he had been put in the correct era, he wouldn't have been able to catalogue anything that wasn't already catalogued. The simulation just wouldn't have it.
The actual story of how almost the entire Earth internet was catalogued was much more boring. Portals were opened to the actual Earth next to the largest data centers. Spies placed collections of little robots that looked like roaches outside of the centers. The spies left and closed all of the portals except for one hidden away on the border of space with a receiver.
The roaches would skim all of the data from the centers, then follow the connections to access the computers receiving the data. They wouldn't steal personal data unless it was on a server that was sending out data like the data centers. Server farms? I think you call them server farms.
There were some holes, of course, but it all went amazingly well. There was just one problem.
If it had been any other mission, the spies would be in prison. But, because Earth makes the best content, they let it slide.
Every single spy grabbed a cat. I don't know how all of them found a cat in such a small timeframe, but they did. A few of the cats were even pregnant!
The Union was able to sequence the genetic information of cats, so now anyone with enough money can buy a cat.
I don't know what it is about them, but the Union makes way more money than they could have ever expected by just making and selling cats.
How is Tsuyuri Mochida's bank?
Tsuyuri has a small one pitch CV. The filenames have the first letters capitalized so that they wouldn't work with a normal romaji UST, but there are regular romaji aliases along with the hiragana aliases. The OTOs will need to be fixed to properly use her.
She is basically perfect. She has the tone of "I made my eight-year-old sibling record an UTAU" with the quality of an UTAU user recording an UTAU. The bank is well recorded and sounds adorable!
Where can I download Mochida Tsuyuri?
You can find her download on her Wiki page. She is a very, very nice UTAU.
No comments:
Post a Comment