still not doing great.
Wiki Wednesday #301 - Alex-Felix Coconutson
This is either a troll utau or an utau made by someone going through a hard time. I feel like there's a part of me that says I shouldn't platform that, but it's a one pitch CV bank and I just need to get articles done.
Who is A.F. Coconutson?
Art from wiki |
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I had calmed down Barcelona a bit as she messaged with her supervisors. She could give everyone in this sad little town their own little house with enough room for a double wide trailer as long as the trailer was perpendicular to the house and not parallel.
That fixed the residents of the trailer park, but not the owner.
"Okay, I'll fix this." I pulled out my phone. I wasn't friends with Bob, but I still had him in my contacts from the few times I did odd jobs around the trailer park. I steadied myself to use my waitress accent as the phone rang.
As soon as he picked up the phone, I called out in a shrill voice that bothered me, "they're scamming you, Bob!"
"Trina? What are you talking about?!" His voice was gruff. He slurred his words in that strange sober old man way. "Who?!"
"Them aliens, Bob." I perched my free hand on my hip as if he could see me. "They're trying to take your land without paying. But let me tell you! Galactic code Twelve Seventeen B!"
Barcelona was lost. I could see from her expression that she was concerned.
"Trina?" Bob actually sounded confused. "How you know that code?"
"Look, it's about land owners, right?" I knew I sounded convincing. "They can take your land if you don't tell them the statute. But you know it, right? You tell them, they gotta pay you TWICE what you get paid monthly for it. And once they build up a shopping mall on it, they gotta pay you a chunk of the profits!"
I watched as the gears turned in Barcelona's mind. Money was a silly pointless thing in a post-scarcity world. Of course they could just force the government to print more money for them. I could tell that using money as an incentive didn't really click for her until this moment.
Bob made incoherent noises.
"And Bob, you ain't gotta worry, okay?" I used my sweetest voice. "Everyone's gonna get their trailers moved for free. All you gotta do is come and tell the aliens that you know what's what, okay?"
"I don't much believe you Trina," there was a long pause. "But I'll be giving those aliens a piece of my mind about that Galactic Code Twenty Seventy!"
I didn't correct him because it didn't matter. "And if they say that's not real, you just tell them! It's your land and you have rights! I gotta run... Take them to the cleaners!"
I waited for an acknowledgement before ending the call. Barcelona was in shock.
"He was the last hold out, wasn't he?" I slid my phone into my pocket.
"Yeah..." Barcelona shook her head. "The corporations are being pressured by the government... He was the only private land owner around these parts who wasn't happy just being relocated." She looked down at her desk. "I thought it would be different, Trina. I really thought it would be different."
I let out a soft laugh. "Yeah."
How Is Alex-Felix Coconutson's bank?
It's a one pitch CV bank. The otos are done using incorrect theory. There is no hiragana. The voice is fine. It's reminiscent of Chikune Kenta.
Where Can I download Alex-Felix Coconutson?
You can download him from his wiki page.
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