Wiki Wednesday #290 - Kanata Kaisou

 I want to run out of stories before I stop working on my blog for now!

Wiki Wednesday #290 - Kanata Kaisou

Kanata is a joke utau, so you are not meant to take her biography seriously.

Who is Kaisou Kanata?

Art from wiki

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"My wife told me all the rules!" He laughed as he pushed himself along. "Just like all the rules I have to follow. You know."

I didn't know.

"I know the ones you definitely can't break, but I know which ones are flexible." He stopped pushing himself along as he pulled a small brick like object out of his pocket. "My daughter, the sweetheart, put together a guide of what I can get for you."

I stopped and turned back towards him.

"Thank goodness for online ordering!" He laughed. "Neither of us could order a thing without it!" He made a strange rattling noise. Almost as if he were humming. "I can't just ask you if you would want to try food from one place or food from another... You wouldn't know what any of them were!"

"I didn't like food." I was honest. "All food kind of hurt until they put me on the carbo mash and protein mash with vegetables based fats."

"There's a porridge restaurant you might like." He moved his finger around the front of the device. "They use the same grain as Union carbo mash for anyone who can't handle foreign foods."

"Is that normal?" I shook my head. Maybe porridge was translating incorrectly?

"Only on Untranslatable!" He laughed again. "We have people from every single Union planet come here. Sometimes, people get violently ill when they eat foreign food. So we have a restaurant that serves food that will prevent that."

"Why are we going to a restaurant to pay for what I can eat in my workshop for free?" I shook my head.

"It's not about the food!" He was smiling. "It's about sitting around listening to music and socializing."

He put away the device and started moving forward again. "I got you a sampler. That way you can try different things!"

I followed him. I felt awkward as I realized people were looking at us. I couldn't figure out facial expressions. I knew there could be many reasons that people were looking at us. I mean, the man I was with was in a chair instead of walking. Of course I had seen people in chairs, but they had been pushed along. No one ever did what he was doing!

"Do people stare at you often?" I tried to not be obvious.

He did his rattling laugh. "Stare at me? Well, everyone's happy to see me!" He paused. "But, you know, they're staring at you for a very nice reason."

I stared at him blankly. 

"Look," he stopped. "You're going to have a good time here. I just know it."

Editor's note: I'm candid about the DID for this specific reason: I can only barely remember writing this. I know I had a lot of plans for both Mkret and the woman he left behind (she was going to be called Ahab because her liason introduced himself as Ishmael as a joke!) But I can barely remember those and I'm not sure how to pull it off. So... I think I'll be going back to creepy pasta inspired vignettes for now. I apologize!

So, editor's note. I am a ball of anxiety over this blog very often. What I want to do is to just sit down and make hundreds of articles so that if something happens to me, people will be confused for years as I'm completely missing but articles are still getting posted.

If I were to be lazy and just use Chat-GPT to write the stories, I could easily do that. But that wouldn't be a very good legacy for me. From the time I was able to work around my dyslexia and love reading, I have wanted to be an author. I wanted to be an author since before I wanted to be an artist, even. 

But, I'm awful at sticking to any kind of plot for very long. I just trail off and forget what I'm doing, even if I write everything down ahead of time. I just lose focus. So, for a bit, I'm just going to write little vignettes.

A vignette is a little piece of writing with no plot. It's simply a single slice of a story with no beginning or end, just a middle. However, I will try to make things happen so that it's not too boring and pointless. These will usually be at least a thousand words, so they will be spread across at least two articles each. So, let's get started! 

This story is about an android who got roped into playing a very bad board game!

I stared at the table as I sat against the wall on the floor. My charging cord was plugged in. There were no snacks (so that we wouldn't need to do any dumping on camera) so my only option to get any kind of energy was charging. 

I was more or less lied to. I responded to an advertisement saying that I would be on a game show for Androids that was live streamed. It would last up to seventy-five days and would be a great chance to connect with viewers. It didn't say I would get any new followers on my socials, but it was heavily implied. 

Instead, we were put in a room with a giant table that was at least ten feet long. There was this giant game board and a box with thousands of little things. I didn't know how many people were watching, but I wouldn't watch this. 

At opposite sides of the table, there were two nearly identical men who both used the nickname Casio. Beside Axis Casio were his four teammates. They were more like me. Bored out of their minds and two of them were in sleep mode. Ally Casio, my team leader, had definitely lost when he was assigned his team. Not only was I sitting down and charging, so was one of my teammates on the wall opposite from me. 

I looked up at the camera. I didn't know what I was even meant to do. Be funny? Do something silly? Who was even watching?!

How Is Kanata Kaisou's bank?

While I can see how someone could intend this voice to be seen as a joke, there are many normal utaus that are taken seriously that have this tone, such as Haruka Nana. The bank is only cv, but it is still a nice bank.

Where Can I download Kaisou Kanata?

You can find her on her Wiki page.